Game 8 @ Boston: Depleted or not, we suck…

…and something’s gotta change or someone’s gotta go. Also, I clearly need therapy for doggedly continuing to come back for more.*

*I had a happy [Stockton and Malone-filled] childhood, in case you’re wondering.

Ladies and Gents, Your BA Leader!

Hardwood Paroxysm’s new feature, Blockclocked, tracks “which players are getting their stuff sent away, out of here, gotten gone, rejected, denied, and heretofore blocked.” In the first installment, HP predicted:

I’ve got a feeling this might be Boozer’s time. It’ll all come down to whether injury slows down Crash’s persistence and numbers, or if Boozer gets lazy. But with a contract year in sight, I can see Boozer making a push for being the most often blocked guy in the league.

Unsurprisngly, Carlos is indeed leading the league in getting his weak stuff sent away as of the end of Week 2:

I feel good about Boozer’s ability to maintain here. He’s got the skillset and mindset to make this dream a reality.

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Did anyone catch that little David Stern interview in which he claims he/the NBA did “nothing” to prevent Donaghy’s book from coming out? Give me a break. If truly “nothing” were done, we’d all be holding it in our hands, salaciously devouring the truth within right now.

Anyway, speaking of David Stern, the NBA, and game officials, Dwight Howard was fined for criticizing (although it was more complaining than criticizing) the officials on his blog just 24 hours after SJax’s agent went off on Don Nelson. That got me wondering…whenever NBA players have beef with the refs, why don’t they get their agents to complain for them? The NBA can’t fine agents, can they? Another route I’d take is signing up for a twitter/blog account and say everything I want to say, and then claim it’s not me when I’m taken in for questioning. Afterwards, I’ll *wink, wink* claim to the media that it’s not me so that everyone will know it is me. But maybe that’s just “late at night + I’m on meds” talking (although it’s only 9:58).

Game 7 @ NYK: Where “The bleeding never stops” happens

When even wins are losses, the team is irretrievably broken.

Incidentally, I just realized that I was at MSG the last time the Jazz won there (and that was the last NBA game I attended). Stock and Malone were gone, the Jazz didn’t make the Playoffs for the first time in 19 years, and we were predicted to be the worst team in NBA history. That team was more competitive than this one.

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Game 6 vs. SAC: The Utah Failzz*

*where “you think it can’t get any more sorryass, but it inevitably does” happens.

In today’s edition of ‘Who Dressed Him?!’…

…we have Melo, who must watch a lot of “Inside the NBA”–as this look was clearly inspired by Karl Malone’s draft day tie.

Game 5 vs. SA — …

Today was the first time in my life that I didn’t watch a game that was on TV.

String together three good games (and by “good,” I don’t mean “wins”; I mean competitive and focused), and we’ll talk.

In memoriam: Utah Jazz’s Heart 1974-2009*

The Five Stages of Mourning:

1. Denial:
This cannot be happening. I don’t believe it.

2. Anger:
–I blame Boozer.
–I blame KOC for signing Boozer.
–I blame LHM for allowing KOC to sign Boozer.
–I blame Jerry for playing Boozer.
–Most of all, I BLAME BOOZER’S PARENTS FOR HAVING SEX THAT DAY.

3. Bargaining:
I quit, unless there’s a ‘09 replay of Gira-for-KK.

4. Depression:
–I am deep in mourning.
–Congratulations, current Jazz, for killing 17 years of unadulterated passion and devotion.
–How could you?
–I want the years and my money back.
–I can’t breathe.

5. Accep–
Screw this.

*Lest anyone accuse of me overreacting and point out that it’s only been three four games [which two people actually have], I must explain that it’s not just been three four games, but more like 30 in a continuation of last season.

I would have closed this with: Next up–SA, who my sister the Spurs fan informs me will have had five days off. But screw it, I QUIT.

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Game 3 vs. Houston: Just Kill Me Now*

No heart.
No pride.
No will.
No brains.
No defense.
No guts.
No glory.**

*Lest anyone accuse of me overreacting and point out that it’s only been three games, I must explain that it’s not just been three games, but more like 30 in a continuation of last season. At this point, I would trade Boozer for Whiny Girl McGrady. And I would throw in cars from LHM dealerships for Rockets management to facilitate the deal if necessary.

**How ironic that Deron got those tats covered up over the summer.

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