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The Gloriousness of Karl Malone Talking, 2/11

February 13, 2015
tags: ,

karl-bow

On John Stockton and competition back in the day
One of the most fiercest competitors I ever played against. When we was getting ready for games, coach would split us up. Stock on one team; I was on the other team. And I had to be ready to play him. Don’t let his size fool you.

[Charles Oakley: Right. Right.]

Trust me. But you know what’s, you know what I remember the most? Like Oak said, every team you played was ready to hand it to you. Now, we go out. We’re talking about where we’re going out after the game. We hugging.

I wanna just dap you. I believe in standing for attention of the flag of the United States of America, right? After that, I want to pound you, because — no, no, no. No, no. I want to give you some dap, but brother, let me tell you something. When it go up, we don’t like each other.

On competition, Part 2
I played what I called the prototypical power forward every night. That’s who I played. Oak. [Charles] Barkley. Buck William[s]. Maurice Lucas. OK? I played those guys. I better have my stuff right, so guess what? You know who made me train? I knew he was training…

When it was over with, we shook hands; I’ll see you next time…When we went to play, we went to play and when it was over with, if you got the better of me, I gotta do some more work…

Two power forwards, I say it now, and I’ve never said it, that I think were one of the s–two of the best that ever played…I thought Derrick Coleman and Chris Webber was two of the most talented power forwards that I’ve ever seen, what they could do with the ball, ok?

But, I wanted to hit them the very first play just to see what I was working with…Derrick got sick a lot. Derrick Coleman got sick a lot…

Those guys there, I think were some of the most talen–and Charles [Barkley]… We hit and we expected to be hit…and if you left there with nothing aching, that was a win whether you won the game or not.

On football
My mom didn’t let me play…I wanted to play football. My mom caught me one time, say “Hey boy, meet me.”

I said, “Yes, ma’am.” So we had this little place we met all the time [where] she bought me food every Wednesday, where she worked at a sawmill…This was a Tuesday. So I’m like, “Yes, ma’am.”

“No, no. You understand? Meet me.”

I said, “Yeah mom, but it’s not Wednesday.”

She said, “I said, meet me in our spot.”

I met her. Sit there. She put the car in park. I’m sitting in the car with her. I said, “Yes, ma’am?”

She said — I can’t tell you, ’cause it’s a family station — she said, “Didn’t you go to Louisiana Tech to play basketball?”

I said, “Yes, ma’am.”

“What is this I hear you’re gonna play football?”

I said, “Yes, ma’am. I want to–” Whop, upside the head…

She said, “You going to play basketball.”

“Yes ma’am.” And that was it. So, I wanted to.

Do you shave your head with a straight edge or a razor?
My pocket knife. And it’s sharp.

Do you use shaving cream?

No, I use oil…No, but look. Mine is a production. I gotta put my smooth grooves on…I gotta light a candle or two, and I gotta get in the moment. Son, you cannot rush perfection, son, right, and it’s a production. I don’t talk…and my shave is about 35 to 40 minutes.

Do you shave your chest too?

No, no. I don’t have hair on my chest.

Did you have a standard pre-game meal?
I love my pasta. And sometime when I have a tough game like the Knicks, I wanted red meat only, OK? Just red meat only…Bring that cow in…No veggies. None of that. I just want meat.

What’s the biggest animal you ever took down?
A lion…I don’t eat carnivores, so I don’t eat bear. I don’t eat mountain lion…but I hunt everything, though. Spear, I use spear. Knife. Bow and arrow, gun. Yes, sir. I’m a jack of all trades.

Have you ever wrestled an animal down?

No, wrestling is far-fetched, but we flipped hogs before, me and my oldest son, and, yes. We flipping hogs when we do that. But, I tell people all the time. I wouldn’t want me hunting me. (CBS Sports)


** Charles Oakley said the first time he met James Dolan was last year at All-Star Weekend, but Dolan wouldn’t even turn around or look him in the eye when they were introduced. The last two Knicks games he went to, he bought his tickets from StubHub. Dolan apparently has a grudge against Oakley for something he said in the papers 15 years ago.

This is all sounding rather familiar. What’s worse, buying tickets from StubHub or scalpers? Also, 15 years? Greg Miller also stayed mad at Karl for being half an hour late to an autograph session for 15 years. Ha.


Do analytics belong in the NBA?
Really? Really? Are we going there? Are you kidding me? Look. Suit up. Stop missing so many game. Now, everybody talk about analytics, right? How about we just play the game of basketball and stop resting so many players? How about the analytics of that? Really?

And how about this? It’s one team out there that I love, the San Antonio Spurs. They have the right from seniority to rest their players. And I love the Spurs. But these young kid need to play, and the analytics, really? You’re gonna tell me a 3-point shot is better than a mid-range game?

Whoever, and whenever you find that person that “invented”* that word, or created that, let’s have a talk about that. Really? Just, you know what, get stronger in the weight room and go down there and impose your will on somebody. Stop telling me about 3-pointers and all that.

You know what? Just play. Just play the game. Analytics is coincide with how many injury we got now. Look. Shoulders, groins, calves, hamstrings, all of that, right? In moderations, plyometrics are great. But you gotta lift your weights with it and all things like that.

So, when you’re talking about analytics, it have done so much to the game of basketball, but people buying into it, right? So the coaches they’re hiring now, oh, “analytics.” OK, that’s great. Do that win ball games? I don’t know, prove to me that that win ball games. (Fox Sports)

* “invented” in quotes because Karl made air quotes when he said it.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. russellkanning permalink
    February 13, 2015 11:10 pm

    We need Karl on the staff as bad cop and Quin can pick up the pieces.

    • February 14, 2015 8:39 am

      With Quin’s glare, Karl might end up being the good cop lol

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