Bits from Karl Malone Interview (Dan Patrick Show), 6/4
How the show started
Dan Patrick: The former Utah Jazz Hall of Famer joining us from Louisiana. Have you watched Duck Dynasty, Karl?
Karl Malone: Yes sir, I have watched Duck Dynasty.
DP: Can you relate to it?
KM: Hold up, hold up, hold on, Dan. Dan, how are you doing? I’m Karl. Dan, great, I’m great too. Now, yes, Dan. I’ve watched Duck Dynasty, and of course I can relate to ’em.
How much hunting and fishing do you do?
Contrary to what people might think, I don’t do it all the time. I just do a lot of it, and you know, I do a lot of it when I do it.
But I also develop real estate. I drive trucks. I operate heavy equipment. We got Toyota dealership. We got Jiffy Lube. We got Burger King. So I do, but I got a great team. So I just kinda do what I wanna do, Dan, because I can. And that’s just the way the cookie crumble, my friend.
WAIT…Stop the presses. So it’s ok when the cookie crumbles???
Which of your former teammates is the ideal hunting buddy?
I’d say, the ideal guy to go, this could, now you said a player. I would say Jerry Sloan, my coach. He, look, I tell you this. Coach Sloan and I went hunting before, and we have a great time.
If you was probably going to try to interview us, we’d have to have a 10-second delay or something like that, with me and him together. But he will be the guy, I think, Dan, that would just kick back with no expectation.
And when you hunting and fishing, Dan, I know I joke a lot. It’s not about what you bag and how big the fish you catch. It’s just being out there.
A Jerry Sloan hunting story with Karl Malone cameo can be found here.
Which career would you rather have, Steve Nash or Jason Kidd?
KM: Well, John Stockton.
KM (eventually): I would say Jason Kidd, and let me explain myself…We’re all credited, discredited by our career by championship ring, ok? Jason Kidd won a ring, all right? Second all-time to Stockton in steals; second all-time to Stockton, I think, in assists…I’m going to say Jason Kidd there.
Who would you rather have as a teammate, Michael Jordan or LeBron James?
I think LeBron James is the most talented player I’ve ever seen…LeBron James is about 6’8″, a little more’n 6’8″, about 265, 275, and I would say to do the things that he do, we will never see it again.*
* Throughout this part Karl kept addressing Dan Patrick as “young man.” As pointed out by @5kl, Karl is 49 and Patrick is 57 lol.
Who do you like in the Finals?*
I am a humongous San Antonio old-school Spurs [fan]. I love Coach Pop. I love those guys. …
I’m picking the Spurs over the Heat ’cause I like the Spurs. I just like the Spurs, that’s all. This probably be their last time getting there, but it’s gonna be tough, but I like the Spurs. You know, if you gonna put me on the spot, you know, I like the Spurs.
* Karl posed this question himself, and then answered it.
“Karl Malone” trended worldwide on Twitter during the interview:
When was the last time you got into a fight?
My last fight I got into, with my brother in the yard. And I’ve never wanted to fight him again, because my mom, after we finished fighting, we stood there and looked at each other like two bulls. We was young, I think we 15 years old…
After we sit down, my mom came out, tore our butts off, and told us to kiss each other, hug and kiss. So I pecked him on the cheek. She said, “No.” … So I kissed him on the cheek and gave him a half hug. She said, “No no no no. No no. Uh-uh.” She said, “I need a frontal hug and on the lips.”
I said, “Mom, no.” And she got her belt, and she smacked my behind, and his too. I had to give my brother a frontal hug. Now, that’s not good, ok, and I had to peck him on the lip. My brother. So yeah. See, that’s how we do it in the south.
How do you feel when people say Tim Duncan is the best power forward ever?
He’s a great player. He got three championship rings…or maybe four, I’m not for sure. But hey, here’s what I tell the people with the basketball expertise about ’em, and I hope it’s not you so I don’t bust your bubble.
Tim Duncan is not a power forward, by the way, ok? I don’t give a rat’s ass what he listed at. I’m telling you what he is. Tim Duncan is a center, ok? They listed Tim Duncan as a power forward because he was there with David Robinson. And David Robinson was a center, ok?
So Tim Duncan, for all you experts out there, Tim Duncan is a center. He just played at power forward position. But that’s great.
So you know, I don’t, it don’t bother me because I have to [see] who’s saying it. And Charles [Barkley] say it to mess with me. But Tim Duncan, I tell you what. If I was picking my top five power forwards, Tim Duncan and Charles Barkley will be in there.
What’s your all-time starting five?
KM: I’m not gonna be in it. OK, my all-time starting five. I would like, I got to have Wilt Chamberlain at center. I gotta have John Stockton as my point guard, ok? I gotta have LeBron James as, Imma put LeBron James at my power forward position, ok? He could be tough matchup…
I got to put Oscar Robertson at my 2-guard, and now, my other guy, I would have to go with, my other guy, I would have to put, that’s the 2-guard, I need a 3-man?
Imma shock the world. I have to put Scottie Pippen at the 3-man. OK, now let me tell you why…Scottie Pippen led the team in every statistical category when he was there without Michael Jordan. Yes, I gotta put Scottie Pippen. So now you know.
DP: You got a man crush on Scottie Pippen.
KM: I just like Scottie Pippen. I got a man crush on LeBron James. (Dan Patrick Show)