Utah Jazz: Recommended Team-Building and Bonding Exercises

With so many new faces on the team–Paul Millsap is the only member of the Jazz that has been on the team for longer than two seasons–

…let me repeat that.

Paul Millsap is the only member of the Jazz that has been on the team for longer than two seasons!!!

–chemistry will be key.

Here’s the breakdown:

0 seasons with the Jazz: Kevin Murphy, Mo Williams,* Marvin Williams, Randy Foye
.5 seasons with the Jazz: DeMarre Carroll
1 season with the Jazz: Enes Kanter, Alec Burks, Jamaal Tinsley
1.5 seasons with the Jazz: Derrick Favors
2 seasons with the Jazz: Jeremy Evans, Gordon Hayward, Al Jefferson, Earl Watson

* I know he’s been with the team before, but literally everything is different.

How can our team build chemistry? Here are some ideas for bringing different guys on the team together on the basis of shared experiences and common attributes:

Big Al has ties to all three new Jazzmen. He and Mo Williams are both from Mississippi and hold camps together. He played AAU ball against Marvin Williams (and is the only one on the team that Marvin even slightly knows). He played with Randy Foye in Minnesota.

Apart from the three new guys, I would also bring Millsap and Kanter into this group. Millsap is Big Al’s hugging partner, and Kanter is Big Al’s rookie.

This one is for all of the Jazzmen on the roster last season, and Foye and Mo Williams, i.e. group therapy for everyone that was swept out of the Playoffs by the Spurs last season.

Murphy and Marvin are the only ones that don’t qualify for the group, but they should be asked to attend as it’s always good to be prepared for the future.

Kevin O’Connor has been collecting players with names popular in the Jazz front office this off-season (Kevin for O’Connor, Randy for Rigby).

This one is for Kevin Murphy, Randy Foye, and new future signee Greg [to be determined]. If Greg Ostertag attempts another comeback, it’ll probably be him.

Gordon just sits in this room by himself. Enes sometimes stops by when he’s feeling sorry for Gordon. Kevin Murphy, who has grown up with everyone thinking that he’s white before seeing him or his picture, is a reluctant recruit to the group.

By far the most populous group outside of the Swept by Spurs group. Members include Carroll (Alabama), Evans (Arkansas), Favors and Murphy (Georgia), Big Al and Mo (Mississippi), and Millsap (Louisiana). Millsap’s mom cooks all the food and brings all the snacks.

Both Marvin and Foye mentioned that they were big fans of Gordon Hayward during their respective introductory press conferences. This group is led by Jeremy Evans–who better than Gordon’s BFF to lead the group?–and they sit around playing video games until it’s time to go home. Gordon’s dad attends every meeting and takes minutes.

** Kevin O’Connor at Tyrone Corbin’s introductory press conference: Ty, if you do about the same as Jerry [Sloan] does, that’s 2034 we’ll have another one of these [introductory press] conferences…We hope it happens again, and it will happen again, ’cause Ty will do a terrific job.
** Kevin O’Connor at Mo William’s re-introductory press conference, after Mo said that his goal is to retire a Jazzman: That’s ours too.
** Kevin O’Connor at Randy Foye’s introductory press conference: [Foye’s agent] Steven [Heumann] and I had a conversation about it, and we, we, we think this is going to be a longer-term fit than one year.
** Gail Miller at Dennis Lindsey’s introductory press conference, to Lindsey: I feel like you already belong here, that you’re a perfect fit…show up, work hard, and do what we’ve asked, and what you can bring with your own expertise, and you’re in for life.

Incidentally, Kevin “Mack Daddy” O’Connor was pretty unhappy with Gail Miller for stealing his favorite pickup line, but she owns the team so it is what it is.

Finally, a group designed for Tyrone Corbin! This group will give Burks the opportunity to get on Corbin’s good side as they both undergo therapy to help them keep their tongues inside their mouths. (I know, such a novel concept.)

Watson (age 33); Tinsley (age 34); Mo (will be 30 by the end of the year).

Led by Greg Miller; mandatory attendance. Skip meetings and you’ll find deductions on your paycheck for “conduct detrimental to team.”