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Utah Jazz Season Recap Haiku

April 22, 2011
Old school uniforms
New/old logo, new/old floor
Knicks pick on the way
Gordon Hayward–boo!
Jeremy Evans–um, who?
Summer League sheds light
Farewell to Kyle
Don’t let the door hit you Booz
Ronnie B joins them
Wesley Matthews offer sheet
Die Portland Die. Die!

This bears repeating
So angry I can’t think straight
Die Portland Die. Die!

Big Al comes to town
Impresses with his earrings,
sweat, and attitude…

No more Boom Bitches
The Koof, we barely knew ya
But, Hallelujah!

Raja’s back! And then
it’s time for the induction
of my beloved

Mailman, into the
Naismith Hall of Fame. Looking
damn good in a tux

Earl Watson and Sen-
sei Elson. Had no clue how
I’d grow to love them
AK for Boris Diaw????

‘Melo Anthony
What a freaking little bitch
Make up your damn mind

Thank the B-Ball gods
AK’s back. Desperately
in need of haircut…

…but back. No words can
describe my relief and joy
Now, ’bout the mohawk…

Matty joins Boler
Did we know what we’re in for?
Season of fry sauce,

Heads on sticks…starting
to think that “signage” is a
real word. Jazz Nation!

Pre-season is here!
Fes finger wag and rim-blocked
We’re undefeated!
Regular season
kicks off with a whimper and
ball-hurling drama
Miracle in Mi-
ami! 4-0 East Coast trip!
Things are looking up!

…If you believed that
Hahaha, the joke’s on you
Icepick wars could help?

Harsh, strident disc(h)ords
Discernibly rhythmless
Wailing Jazz fan blues
Mixed, matched into oblivion
Thy name is/was SWARM

It’s game after game
of early double digit
opponent leads. Frick.

Jazz Nation thinking:
Will we ever win again?
Freefall to hoops hell

The monotony
of losing’s only broken
by Hayward’s hickey

And ‘ere I forget
Al falling on his butt-ox
Mem’rable moments

Best Deron “play” e’er
won’t show up on highlight reels
Getting all up in

J.R. Smith’s business
While Raja looks on smirking
Captain my captain

Boys are back in town
Utah Jazz vs. Jazz East
Disaster looming…

“Visibly shaken”
Jerry’s post-game is delayed
Announcement coming

Tears: He cried, I cried
It can’t be true. The Jazz will
never be the same

Karl’s back. It is an
unbelievable function
Let the truth bombs fly

“I know my coach.” “My
coach never quit anything.”
Jerry and Phil, gone

And then, so’s Deron.
No time to process; Devin
and Derrick are here
Gordon does Indy
The crowd screams in ecstasy
Ty gets his first win
What up doe? CJ
goes for 40, then turns back
into his old self

Memo is shut down
Ronnie P’s foot is aching
AK hurt again

Have we had enough
drama this season? Guess not…
Heeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrreeee’s Brian T. Smith!

Al Jefferson is
so the devil incarnate
Must convince the world

Too big, too big yo
Resident Laker killer
in the house. G-Time!
Win over Denver
Roller coaster ride over
It is what it is
Need to hire Karl
’cause Favors is the Future
AK please be back
5 Comments leave one →
  1. Alexandria VA permalink
    April 23, 2011 2:47 am

    Completely epic
    You have a gift for color
    Jazz commentary.

    Haha, I loved this. I feel inspired to finish my jazz rap I began twelve months ago

    • April 23, 2011 9:35 am

      can i just tell you how cool it is that you commented in haiku? lol
      re your rap–please do it do it do it! (once your finals are over)

  2. Jazzy Girl permalink
    April 23, 2011 2:44 pm

    Good job! I feel as tough writing this have been emotionally taxing, well done.


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