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Giving the People What They Want aka 2009 in Search Terms

January 1, 2010

BBJ over at SLC Dunk is doing a “Ten Days of Christmas” series in which he’s counting down the Top Ten Jazz stories of the year, so definitely go read that. Over here at the ever-frivolous Living and Dying by the Jazz, you’ll be getting the Top Ten Search Terms (that led people here) of the Year.

[Reading through the list, you may be inclined to believe that I’m making stuff up or have re-ranked the list for comic effect. I assure you, this is not the case.] Here we go:

10. Some Variation of “Just Kill Me” / “Just Kill Me Games” / “Kill Me Now Games”
What can I say…Googlers come to the right place–a Jazz blog–when they are seeking games that make you lose the will to live. This, for example. Or this. Or this.

9. Deron Williams Chin Strap / Beard
Maybe Deron is some kind of facial hair trendsetter and I just don’t know it. When he first started sporting the beard during the Beijing Olympics, I have to say I hated it. In fact, I even threw up a fanshot at SLCDunk polling the dunkers on it. Now, I look at old pictures of him and think he looks young and chubby without it. The power of the human mind to adapt is simply amazing.

8. Carlos Boozer’s Love Life (some variation of wife, girlfriend, divorce, and divorce reason)

As you all know by now, Boozer filed for divorce last spring and reconciled with CeCe over the summer. Moving on…

7. Rob Pelinka

For those that don’t know, Rob Lowe Pelinka is Boozer’s agent. I did one post on him, “Questionable Character Attracts Questionable Characters,” last summer when Boozer was on his Tour de Whore and Pelinka did nothing to shut him up. The two of them just have a whole buncha shady history between them.

6. Living and Dying by the Jazz / Jazz Fanatical
Self-explanatory: name of this blog [I now realize I should have made the URL and blog name, like, you know, the same, but too late now].

5. Kris Humphries’ Girlfriend
I believe I’ve only mentioned Humphries once in the entire history of this blog, and it was in passing. The bio on his official website does not mention a girlfriend or wife, but then again, it still lists him as a Raptor so it’s probably not the most up-to-date website on the Internet. Therefore, this is all I have to offer:

4. Good / Best FB Quotes
I’m assuming these people were looking for quotes to put in the “Quotes” section of their Facebook profiles, but down our way, FB Quotes refer to dumbass things that come out of Boozer’s mouth. You know, stuff like raise, regardless, I’m a starter, I was told I’d be traded, etc. Check out Top 5 Most Dumbass FB Quotes of ‘08-’09, aka the tip of the iceberg, if your curiosity is piqued.

3. Deron Williams’ Wife / Girlfriend

Deron’s then-girlfriend-now-wife Amy famously stole the show at the 2005 NBA Draft with her “smoking hotness,” which led to posts going up all over the Internet requesting pictures of her. Watch the draft video or click here for more.

2. Deron Williams’ Hair / Long Hair / Hairstyle

Hey, maybe Deron’s some kind of coiffurial trendsetter too. And I actually did once do a post on the evolution of his hair from high school until now. In my defense, it was May, there were six months of interminable no-Jazzness stretching out in front of me, and I was bored out of my mind.

And at Numero Uno (requisite drum roll)…: (New) Jazz Uniforms
I suppose that refers to the new green throwbacks we got going on this season:

For the record (Front Office, are you listening????), I prefer the purple. More here and here.

LOL Honorable Mentions:
–“David Stern’s mustache
–“NBA players shaved armpits
–“Mrs. Bryant ring”
–and the piece de resistance…”did carlos boozer do masha

So there you have it, Living and Dying by the Jazz’s Year in Search Terms. Cheers.

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