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End of July Odds and Ends

July 26, 2009

1. Two days ago, I get to work and find that I’ve been assigned a translation…on K*be and his Asian tour. Given the complete and utter lack of quality control at the office, you have no idea how much self-control it took to refrain from inserting the words “Colorado” and “million dollar ring” into the translation. Due to the poorly written and often ambiguous original (like I said, no quality control), one of my translated lines read, “Through a skills demonstration, Bryant proved that he is the best guard on the Los Angeles Lakers.”

Thanks to idiot Asian nations/fans treating K*be like he is some kind of un-smug and likeable star, news coverage on his tour is not ignorable. So the next day, I am grieviously and thoroughly insulted by my very own father, who asks me, “Who’s that basketball player you like? Is it K*be?” (This is stating the obvious, but Dad does not follow basketball–despite all the screaming, certifiably insane fanatics in the family).

2. Via TrueHoop, Basketball Reference has added transactions to player pages. Truehoop wondered whether former Jazzman and lots-of-other-teams-man Tony Massenburg’s page required BBR to acquire additional server space. Let’s take a look at the transaction part of his page:

Now let’s take a look at Stock’s page:

(Cue sappy song with the words “miss/missing” and “you” in the title.)

3. Speaking of Stock, here’s what Stephon Marbury said about Stock in his ustream broadcast:

“John Stockton is a computer. He’s playing chess with you. He’s doing stuff to you before it even happens.” (Ball Don’t Lie)

4. Tell me if this sounds familiar. NBA All-Star and Olympian with close ties to Deron Williams discusses his financial fate with a highly-respected sports journalist named Chris. When the story is published, the All-Star/Olympian denies all of the quotes attributed to him, and accuses Chris of being a liar and making everything up. To defend himself, a wronged Chris is forced to release the tape of the interview, which proves that the All-Star/Olympian is, in fact, the only liar in the room. This is the story also known as:

Chris Paul pulls a Carlos Boozer.

Saying your comments were taken out of context or misinterpreted is one thing, but flat out denying that you ever said them, when they’re on tape? That makes you a liar.

Calling out the reporter that printed them by name, and accusing him of making it up? That makes you a jerk, too.

Chris Paul owes Chris Tomasson an apology.

One wonders whether FB ever apologized to Chris Sheridan. Meanwhile, over in Miami, you know Carlos is rubbing his hands together and snickering to himself that CP3 is now be the freshest “f*cked it up” memory in everyone’s minds.

5. Got a kick out of these quotes from LBJ’s new book on his high school years:
–“We had become big-headed jerks, me in particular”
–“I was arrogant, dubbing myself ‘The Chosen One'”

I love his usage of the past tense, as though “big-headed” and “arrogant” were phases he went through, as though these terms are no longer accurate depictions of him. Is that super elegant and humble “Chosen 1” tattoo not still decorating his back? (And incidentally, Nike has never looked so foolish as when it released that statement on why they were giving the dunk tapes back to their rightful owners.)

6. DWade doesn’t want Carlos either: “There’s a lot of excitement going on with Lamar and Carlos and even A.I.,” Wade said Tuesday during his summer camp at Nova Southeastern University. “I think Lamar right now is our big focus. We want to make sure ultimately we get Lamar, and go from there.”

7. Does Brev Brev feel like it’s time to hang ’em up, or is he only preparing for that eventuality? According to USA Today, Brev Brev is one of six mostly old “Huh? They’re still in the league?” NBA players taking part in a broadcasting career program at Syracuse that will help the players “learn and practice television studio delivery, interviews, field reporting and game coverage on and around the SU campus.”

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