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Game 75 – The Jazz Have Lost the Plot

April 3, 2009

It’s no longer just a problem of being bad on the road, or being young, or having more back-to-backs than any other team.

The Jazz have lost the plot, Player 1 to Player 12, Coach 1 to Coach 4.

Coaches and players–I know that there are no plays for 3-pointers in your playbook, but that doesn’t mean we can just ignore the existence of the three. Perimeter defense, people. Look it up!!!! Or sign some players that know how to do it.

What are our players thinking?!

Memo–If my shot is not falling, I will foul. Until I foul my way out of the game.

CJ–Do I have something to prove after getting benched the last game? Playing D or getting boards won’t impress Coach…nah man, the only way to impress Coach is to shoot some 3s.

AK–I know my shot hasn’t been falling, but I’m not getting much playing time, so I better shoot when I can. Hey, I’m pretty good at these 3s when there’s less than one minute in the game.

DWill–This sucks. They suck. We suck. The refs suck. Everyone sucks.

Knight–My next shot is definitely going in. Especially if it’s at the end of the quarter.

Ronnie B–Definitely.

Harp–Man, my teammates play like girls.

Fess–I see something shiny…I hear music…I wanna dance, but maybe Coach Sloan will not like.

Jerry–#$%%&#$&^*#%^$%^%^&$%%^*&%^&$^$%^ players.

Through three quarters, our top four players (Loozer, Loose Change, Water Pistol, and 1st Grader at Ninja School), shot a combined 6-38 (15.8%). For the game, they were a smokin’ 15-57 (26.3%). DWill, Boozer, and Memo each had 3 TOs. Boozer the PF had 6 BAs (are you frickin’ kidding me with that? You think Karl would have let any team block him that many times without taking someone out?) and was called for offensive goaltending late in the 4th on a shot that was so going in (Hot Rod couldn’t believe it; neither could I). Memo was a nauseating 2-12; AK was a cringing 1-10. DWill had “the worst 18 points, 10 assists I’ve ever had in my life.” Can we sink any lower? Is it possible?

[Massive sigh]

To go back to my last post, one of the points of which was Boozer’s marked unconcernedness over losses, he had this to say after the game:

“It doesn’t happen too often,” Boozer said. “They did a good job defensively, they blocked the paint. Some of the shots I had came right back to me. I give them credit, but it ain’t going to happen again.

If that sounds familiarily flippant, it’s because after the last last game (Portland), he said:

“It’s the NBA. You don’t get blown out very often in the NBA…I believe in my teammates, I believe in our coaching staff, I believe that we have the strength and the will to come back from this and bounce back on Thursday and I think we will.”

So much for having strength and will and bouncing back. Ugh. I don’t think Carlos has much of a future in fortunetelling.

We are soft as jello and have no clue what toughness is, and I’m thinking that if Jerry, Tyrone, Karl, Stock, and KK2 suited up right now in Orem (or any arena except the ESA), their effort would put this team to shame. They even have a shot at taking this team. We are deeply flawed, and we I can’t go on like this.

Next up: @ home vs. the Peskies. Jerry won’t be in attendance because he will be attending his brother’s funeral. Poor Jerry–LHM, NVL, Johnny Kerr and now the brother he was closest to, in the space of six weeks. Maybe the team’s play isn’t the only reason he’s looked so resigned and dejected lately.

Sidenote: In the last two Flash games, KK2 had 13 on 6-10, 12, 3a, and 4b (while MoAl had 24 but not much else), and 21 on 10-18–including 7-7 in the 4th, 11, and 5a (while MoAl had 23 on 8-10 and 5). I’m excited about the future of the center position in the SLC. And I kind of wish the future was now.

Can we send in a squad of Flash players to start third quarters for us?

One Comment leave one →
  1. April 4, 2009 1:24 am

    I don’t think the Jazz are in nearly as dire of a situation as everyone is making it out to be. Portland and Denver are very good home teams (nearly as good as Utah this season) so the losses shouldn’t be too surprising. Yes I know that much of the concern is more that they haven’t even been showing up but the Jazz shot AWFUL and still had a chance in that Denver game.


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