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Off Day Odds and Ends

March 20, 2009

Congratulations to Carlos for being named to both the “Top 10 Most Hated NBA Players“* AND the “NBA 2008-2009 All-Pussy First Team“** in the same week.

It was certainly a prolific week for Boozer, as he was also chosen to play “Princess Leia” in “Recasting Star Wars with NBA Players.“***

Edit: 12 days later, Carlos was also named to the “Top 10 Sleazeballs In Sports.”****

*“…there is a feeling that nobody seems to like this guy”

**“Congratulations are in order to Carlos Boozer for proving that the 2005-06 hamstring injury was no fluke – he is a bona fide pussy! Boozer’s injuries are especially pussy in that each one began as a small “day-to-day” injury that progressively got worse until he was missing half the season… even when healthy Boozer plays the game like a pussy. Ever seen him dive for a loose ball? Me neither. Ever seen him play literal matador defense? Me too.”

***“For the role of Leia, I need someone who has softness and femininity, yet is also strong willed with a high sex appeal. Who else but Boozer for this role? Boozer has shown wonderful acting skills during his NBA tenure…he has acted hurt several times over the past few seasons, turning “pulled” hamstrings into 6 months of vacation.

****“Carlos Boozer: If there was such a thing as a good offender on this list, Boozer would be the closest thing to it. However, his contract negotiation antics that got him out of Cleveland a few years ago have to be considered sleazy by anyone who is in the know.

To make matters worse, with his massive contract coming to an end in Denver, Boozer seems to up to his old tricks again, ready to screw the Nuggets and head for greener pastures. That is, if someone is willing to take on the injury-prone center.

DWill (“bruised left fibula head”) almost achieved a triple-bumble against the Bullets, while Memo (sprained right ankle) shot 5-15; he did have 3 blocks though.

Meanwhile, Dime had this to say about Jazz @ Orlando:

No one’s ever accused Carlos Boozer of being an elite defender, but he looked especially helpless trying to hang with Dwight. While Boozer put in work of his own (23 pts, 13 rebs), on the other end he was often standing there watching The Centaur (28 pts, 20 rebs) dunk on him in Orlando’s blowout win. One time Dwight threw down a backwards ‘oop, then on the next possession beat Boozer down the floor and got a reverse dunk as Booz could only laugh…

Boozer, on the other hand, had this to say about the road trip, and the losses in particular:

“You know, we came on this trip trying to win every game,” he added. “The Atlanta game we fought back and were right there. (Saturday in Miami) was anybody’s game once it got to overtime. And (Sunday at Orlando) we didn’t have it.”

While I, a huge AK fan, readily acknowledge that it was AK’s fouls in the 4th quarter that put the Miami game into OT (which AK admitted and took responsibility for), it was you, Boozer, and your mismanagement of the clock and perhaps need to jack in 1OT that put the game into 2OT, which turned into a deflating “and one” in the L column.

He also added:

“Got to get ugly, got to get scrappy, got to do whatever it takes for us to win, because in the playoffs there are going to games just like (Sunday’s) — physical.”

Do it then. Fight for boards without committing over the backs. Take the charges. Dive for loose balls. Draw the fouls. Jostle for position. Take it to the hole strong. Play through pain. Play D instead of yelling. Play D instead of yelling at Memo to “get it” or “block it.” Be physical. Get ugly. Get scrappy. Do whatever it takes for the Jazz to win. Do it.

Finally, one of sltrib’s best blog posts ever:

Growing up in McLeansboro, Ill., Jazz coach Jerry Sloan’s family didn’t get a phone for the first time until his junior year in high school. So you can only imagine the fun Wednesday in trying to explain Twitter to the soon-to-be 67-year-old.

One of the local television stations asked Sloan about Charlie Villanueva sending a tweet (update) from the locker room at halftime of Milwaukee’s game Sunday against Boston and the resulting fallout with Bucks coach Scott Skiles.

“I don’t follow that,” Sloan said. “I don’t even have a computer. I don’t know how to turn one on. I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m going to be totally honest. How would you do that?”

Sloan was told that Villanueva could do it through his cell phone. This brought more confusion. “I have a phone, but I don’t know how to use it that way,” Sloan said. “I wish I did, but I didn’t want to be aggravated. I’ve just kind of been that way all along.”

Sloan has had a no cell phone rule on the team bus – – the Jazz’s p.r. staff often has to text us with updates about practice times and whatnot – – but is realistic about how closely his players are adhering to it.

“I know they’re back there on the bus, hiding around, doing that stuff,” Sloan said.

Deron Williams walked by and was told we were trying to explain Twitter to Sloan. “Coach doesn’t like it when we text,” said Williams, who claimed to know little about Twitter. He said nobody would even think about doing it at halftime as long as Sloan was coach.

The Jazz did have a moment earlier in the season, Sloan said, when a player’s phone went off during a meeting. “Years ago, I would have put my foot on it and squeezed on it,” Sloan said. “I’m too old to do that. I’m afraid I’ll slip off it and hurt myself.”

And all that is just one of the many reasons why I love our old-school, no-nonsense Coach.

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