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Game 76 vs. LAL: Laker fans at the ESA make me pro-border control

April 2, 2011

Favors is the Future

So when this starting lineup was announced, literally everyone and their mom thought it was an April Fool’s joke.

It did not please me to find that there were no streams available with the local broadcast team. All of the ones available featured, in the words of Karl Malone, “some people, they don’t know what they’re talking about” whose smug, fat face and idiotic commentary made me want to punch my screen. (I must link to this every time I mention Mark Jackson. It explains why he’s still on my sh!t list after all these years. Read the last three paragraphs.)

Speaking of Karl Malone, John Stockton was in the house tonight. (Totally smooth segue, right?) I wanted desperately to glimpse Johnny Stock and feel that sense of peace and well-being that I get at the sight of him, but ESPN instead was occupied with close-ups of Phil Jackson’s bald spot and zoom-to-the-max shots of Gordon Hayward’s pores.

So right, I have yet to mention the actual game. Um…

The Jazz got off to a great start. There’s a lot to be said for just how much space Fes takes up. Fes hit a long jumper midway through the quarter which had the bench laughing, and Earl had a breakaway dunk minutes later. The Jazz built their lead up to 17 in the second quarter, but despite dominating every statistical category, the free throw discrepancy was 20-7 in favor of the Lakers at halftime.

Typical, right? The refs awarded the Lakers with four times as many FTs as the Jazz in the third quarter, and it was tied at 62-all with 4 minutes left in the third. Not to say that it was all on the officials–the Jazz did start falling apart (standing around, unsmart jumpers) in the quarter, but the refs definitely blew calls/made bad calls on purpose. Jeremy Evans’ second offensive goaltending, for example, when replays showed he didn’t touch the ball, and Fes’ tech for this:


(Fes dropping the ball and it rolling towards Kobe caused Laker fans in their game thread to start foaming at the mouth. “ZOMG!!! WTF?!?!? He threw the ball at Kobe!!!! F*CK FESENKO!!! Eject him!!!! #$%@^@#$%$@#%#$”)

I don’t usually like to get into officiating because I’m often watching none-too-HQ streams and like I said I don’t completely blame the officiating for this loss. I am just stating facts here:

Through three quarters excluding technicals, the Lakers had taken 28 FTs to the Jazz’s 9. Through 45.5 minutes, it was 29 to 11. The Jazz took four FTs total during the third quarter and first 9.5 minutes of the fourth quarter combined, but received 6 FTs in a one-minute span at the end of the game. Shady calls to make the final discrepancy not so glaringly obvious? You bet your sweet ass they were.

Let’s end on a positive note. When ESPN finally deigned to show Stock, whose jock Mark Jackson could not carry…in a dream…taking place in gravity-free outer space:

Random Stuff, etc.
** It needs to be asked: What the heck is going on with Fes’ beard? I feel like if I stare at it long enough, I should be able to see a hidden image.

** Fun fact: Kyle Weaver worked Devin Harris’ camps when he was in high school. He also said that Wesley Matthews was a high school rival. (All three are from Wisconsin.)
** Per Ross Siler, Fes has started more Playoff games (9) than regular season games (6).
** The Jazz are now mathematically out of the Playoffs.
** I never wish injury on anyone. Well, I should never say never:

Unintentional Dirty Quote Machines of the Night
** Millsap at practice yesterday: It’s hard to get a rhythm when you keep having guys go down.
** Ty Corbin on Bynum: His moves down low are a little bit more polished than they were early on.


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3 Comments leave one →
  1. shandonfan permalink
    April 3, 2011 12:13 am

    Best part of that Favors block gif (other than its mere existence…you rock for making it, BTW) is that Lakers fan tool in the background celebrating the layup before it even went in. I hope he sat back down in his seat so fast he tore a muscle.

  2. April 3, 2011 12:20 am

    Great post. Fuck Mark Jackson.

  3. Jazzy Girl permalink
    April 4, 2011 2:19 am

    Thanks for validating my thoughts on the game.

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