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Random Non-Game Thread Thread Highlights: “The All mystery ethnicity NBA team”

January 25, 2011
tags: ,

If you’re like me, you’re probably in need of some levity. Found this the other day, and since several Jazz players and one particular Jazz fan are mentioned and it made me laugh, perhaps it’ll do the same for someone else.

04-26-2010, 01:12 AM DUNCANownsKOBE
We’ve covered similar topics (all white, all black etc.), now list your team of players who have an ethnicity people struggle to figure out.

PG – Jordan Farmar – We know he’s a Jew, and he’s got light skin with black athleticism…..can’t figure out his ethnicity
SG – Delonte West – white skin, black name, orange hair….a genetic anamoly to say the least
SF – Matt Barnes – He’s got a white name with milk chocolate skin and an alien forehead…..dude might not be from this planet
PF – Carlos Boozer – Easiest selection of them all……where the fuck did this guy come from?
C – Robin Lopez – Hispanic name, hybrid skin, Jewfro, Stanford education with black athleticism……a good combo to cap the team off


On Carlos Boozer:
04-26-2010, 01:17 AM DUNCANownsKOBE
Watching Carlos Boozer being interviewed sparked this thread. If anyone seriously knows Carlos Boozer’s ethnic makeup please PM me or something I understand it’s a well kept secret that can’t be spread.

04-26-2010, 01:20 AM DUNCANownsKOBE
IMO Carlos Boozer is still the mystery ethnicity G.O.A.T. Look at all there is about him

* Born in Germany
* grew up in Alaska
* went to Duke
* Has the first name “Carlos”
* bad acne
* non-nappy hair
* sounds like a honky at times, and other times sounds semi-black
* has skin that could be anything from part black to Hispanic to native American.

04-26-2010, 01:32 AM _JaG

“* Has the first name “Carlos””

This is what does it for me.

04-26-2010, 01:33 AM DUNCANownsKOBE
It fucks everything up. How many people born on a German military base have the first name “Carlos”

04-26-2010, 08:02 AM poop
FUCKING ROFL!!!!
he is actually the result of an old nazi experiment to merge all the known races into one embryo, then put all the names in the world into a hat and draw out two at random.


Contributions to the list:
Jason Kidd x2, Doug Christie (“for all-decade team”), Mike Bibby x2, Blake Griffin x3, Deron Williams x2, Tony Parker, Charlie Villanueva (“is quite mysterious(and scary)…as is Joakim Noah”), Leandro Barbosa, Jerryd Bayless, Josh Boone, Kevin Martin, Dan Gadzuric, Brandon Roy x2, Anderson Varejao, Bison Dele, Steph Curry x2

04-26-2010, 12:42 PM RenaldoBalkman
BRANDON FUCKING ROY.
what the fuck is the deal with his white ass voice
and Rudy Fernandez
08-09-2010, 04:41 AM GovernmentMan

“and Rudy Fernandez

what exactly is a mystery about his ethnicity? he’s from Spain

04-26-2010, 12:37 PM TheMACHINE
my vote is for Mike Bibby. Cant figure out his ethnicity.
04-26-2010, 02:26 PM YoMamaIsCallin
Holy crap. Do you people just not know any basketball history?
Mike is Henry Bibby’s kid. Henry was a star at UCLA and then with the 76ers. It’s another black dad/white mom deal.
04-26-2010, 02:41 PM TheMACHINE
I know who Henry Bibby is. i know that Mike Bibby is his son. That doesnt change the fact that i dont know what the fuck ethnicity him or his son is. lol

04-26-2010, 12:48 PM mingus
not in the league anymore, but i’m looking at Eric Snow on NBA TV, and he could be Asian, but i’m not sure.
04-26-2010, 12:50 PM TheMACHINE
^^derrick rose looks kinda asian too.
04-27-2010, 07:44 AM ezau*
Nate Robinson. One article stated that he’s like 1/4 Filipino.
04-27-2010, 01:30 PM TheMACHINE
yes…he is 1/8th filipino and will play for the Philippine National Team as thier power Forward to help them qualify for the olympics.
04-27-2010, 07:58 PM m33p0
i know filipinos are short-statured. but we’re not so short as needing a midget to be a power forward.
04-27-2010, 10:05 PM ezau
lol power forward. But yeah, he kinda looks somewhat Asian to me.

*Ezau’s signature includes this hilarious Photoshop of Vanessa Bryant:

04-27-2010, 03:03 PM mingus
his gene pool has to have alien DNA

08-09-2010, 05:05 AM Quit Hatin’
im suprised no one mentioned raja bell. what is he? i thought he was black. but then some one told me raja is a indian name and bell could be black or white. but then he was born in the virgin islands grew up in miami. went to boston university his first year then transfer to florida international. what the fuck does he count as?

08-09-2010, 11:41 AM hater
half human, half ostrich

08-09-2010, 12:28 PM lefty
100% gay



For some reason, Post #31 is a gif of that dancing Jazz fan that’s always shown on TV. The gif is re-posted in Post #32, #38, #42 (“This is going to hurt Jazz fans forever”), and #50 (“it would be hard trying to make a ft with that kid in the background”). Post #64 responded to Post #50, “I dont think thats a kid. He may be an adult.”

One Comment leave one →
  1. January 26, 2011 3:53 am

    Props to Joakim Noah for being on both the “Indeterminate Ethnicity” AND “Indeterminate Gender” teams.

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