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Pre-Game Odds and Ends

February 10, 2010

I suppose throwing up all the odds and ends that have accumulated since the last one is a better use of my time than twiddling my thumbs, aka waiting for the stupid West Coast Time game to get on its way (two more freaking hours). Here we go…

1. After Henry Abbott of Truehoop called the Jazz “f–ing amazing,” Locke had him on his show. In case you didn’t catch it, Abbott said that using Synergy (a video service that queues up video based on criteria entered, e.g. every time X player touched the ball in X game, X player in pick-and-rolls, X player’s last 250 possessions, etc.; the service is marketed to NBA teams and costs $50,000/year), you could make a case for Andrei as MVP.

“If you watch Andrei Kirilenko on Synergy, you can make a case for him as MVP. When he’s on, it’s amazing. He’s always everywhere, doing everything. I’m such a big fan of Andrei Kirilenko. I love all those players who are 100% of the time, even when the play is far from them, they’re trying to do something to gain an advantage. He’s just one of those guys who’s always trying something.” — Henry Abbott

2. Basketbawful recently published a number of reader-submitted worst possible (and ESPN Trade Machine-OK’ed), aka entirely hilarious, trades, and two of them involved Jazzmen.

The first, by Mike T., is aimed at sending players to fan bases/cities that hate them: “Boozer to Cleveland, Shaq to Phoenix, Amar’eee to San Antonio and Ginobili to Phoenix…In the process I was also able to send 3 white guys to Utah. I was amazed that this was successful.”

Crabs (+5 wins) receive: Boozer and Okur
Jazz (-11 wins) receive: Bonner, Nash, Robin Lopez
Suns (-6 wins) receive: Shaq, Ginobili
Spurs (-7 wins) receive: Amar””’e

The second, by Alex, is aimed at making the Pacers even more All-American white while making them 10 wins worse (it appears he doesn’t know the Koof is American):

Pacers (-27 wins) receive: Korver, Ridnour, Alexander, Gadzuric, and four trade exceptions
Bucks (+3 wins) receive: Ford, Granger, Price, Koufos
Jazz (+4 wins) receive: Solomon Jones, Dahntay Jones, Dorell Wright, Hibbert, Cook
Heat (-2 wins) receive: Rush, Watson, Head

3. Those of us that watch games with the sound on know that Booner’s brain is a hotbed of unintentional comedy, and his occasional entries on utahjazz.com’s broadcaster blog are of the same high comedic caliber. The best parts:

11/18/09
I love New York and Boston has the best sea food so Boler, Travis and i went to a no name restaurant, no the name was no name oh hell I’ll fiqure it out; Hot Rod turned me on to it so now you understand. I had sea food chowder, Boler and Travis stuff there face as well, then we were off to Philadelphia where they have a crack in a bell they won’t fix.

1/8/10
It’s ben a few weeks since I blogged – I had a virus on my computer, and my way of getting rid of a virus would be to take some anabolic – But that doesn’t work, so it cost me a few hundred bucks, pissed me off since I’m not into computers controlling my life.

Went to the doctor last week to get the glove … is there a more intimidating sound than when the doc snaps on the glove? You feel violated but know it’s nessesary.

2/2/10
I didn’t want a new years resolution but i have been spending a lot of time at the gym, trying to get the body I had twenty year ago … “yea right”. My mind is trying to fool my body and it’s not working. Beginning to wonder why anyone would torture and beat them self up to stay in shape, hell let yourself go, go get a cheeseburger and fries, sit on the couch and watch yourself balloon two or three sizes. At least you can get a new wardrobe … XXXL …. wow, no thank you.

4. I can’t remember where I read this or who said it, but it bears repeating: “Ronnie Price doesn’t believe in gravity.”

5. Finally, Hot Rod sure has had a lot of hairsytles over the years:

90 minutes remaining until tip-off…

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