In memoriam: Utah Jazz’s Heart 1974-2009*
The Five Stages of Mourning:
This cannot be happening. I don’t believe it.
–I blame Boozer.
–I blame KOC for signing Boozer.
–I blame LHM for allowing KOC to sign Boozer.
–I blame Jerry for playing Boozer.
–Most of all, I BLAME BOOZER’S PARENTS FOR HAVING SEX THAT DAY.
I quit, unless there’s a ’09 replay of Gira-for-KK.
–I am deep in mourning.
–Congratulations, current Jazz, for killing 17 years of unadulterated passion and devotion.
–How could you?
–I want the years and my money back.
–I can’t breathe.
*Lest anyone accuse of me overreacting and point out that it’s only been
threefour games [which two people actually have], I must explain that it’s not just been threefour games, but more like 30 in a continuation of last season.
I would have closed this with: Next up–SA, who my sister the Spurs fan informs me will have had five days off. But screw it, I QUIT.